I got a speeding ticket this morning
  And I've had my provisional license for 11 months
 Which means next month I woudl have gotten my full license

 But that's all screwed up now
 Because the ticket starts the 12 month period over
 
And I also have to pay $80 dollars
 And my insurance cost will surely go up
 And Mom has yet another thing to hang over me now

As if she's not already bringing up school every day
As if she's not, everyday, asking me to reconsider taking a break from school
As if she's not discussing how much I'm going to be paying for my healthy insurance
If I don't go to school
And how she will probably make me pay my car insurance
If I don't go to school

 But now she has this speeding ticket to hang over me too

  I hung out with Gloria Lynn last night
It was pretty fun
I ate dinner with her family

Again
I like eating dinner with them

 We played video games
And then decided that we were going over to Juan's house

Uninvited

We all played video games
And he made me toaster struddles
And we drank beer
Although I didn't finish mine, just like I didnt last time

And then we watched The Goonies
And I said the lines out loud before the characters said them
And Juan kept talking about what a great movie it was


I like times like those
Times without insurance, and college, and speeding tickets

 Last night was pretty amazing.

 Sarah picked me up with two of her best friends in the car.  I hung out with them all evening and night.

It was fun getting to know them all.  And it was nice spending time with her.

   We cuddled in her room a little and then on her front steps.  When we were in her room, her Mom kept walking by, back and forth, and back and forth.  It was pretty funny.

   We all sat outside a Mcdonalds on the curb, and her arm was around me.  It felt really nice....really great.  And being in the passenger seat with her driving and the music blasting is also great, even though it's not really anything at all.

 I dunno, I just had a great time.  Our next date is Friday night.

 We're both really excited.

 I went up to Tammy again, and pointing at my hips that are now wider then they've ever been, I said "Do you see this?"

 She smiled and said "Yes, I do.  It's cool!"

 "Cool?", I asked.

 "Yes, she said.  You are starting to curve out.  It looks nice on you.  It looks....feminine"

 Feminine?  I don't want to look feminine.  I liked having boyish hips.

 Ughhh. I was hoping maybe my body would never do this.  That it would somehow magically know that I don't plan on carrying babies, and therefore, never spread out in preperation for doing so.

 Wishful thinking.

  This morning was my nieces birthday party.  I love love love spending time with my family, but damn is it cold outside.

 I had a date with Crystal tonight...and I cancelled.  I'm tired and weak.  I feel like I have no energy.  I skipped my period...and that's something that I never do  My Mom's worried about me.  She thinks I'm doing way too much.  She suggested that I stay in tonight and just take it easy ;; I agreed.

 So...last night was my date with Sarah!  And...it went well!

 Her Mom showed up out of nowhere which was completely funny. And she didn't mean to do it. Sarah didn't even tell her that we were going to the movies.  She just happened to be going with her boyfriend too.

 So her Mom came over and said hi.  She shook my hand and asked how I was.  She smiled.  She seemed really nice even though she's not all that okay with Sarah's sexuality.

  Sarah asked if I wanted to go on a second date, and I said yes.  And I'm hanging out with her and her friends on Halloween.

     Should be fun <3

   Last night was pretty fun . Chasity and I went out to dinner and completely stuffed our faces {{I still can't believe I ate that much food}}.  Then we went to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Dinner involved a lot of talking about serious subjects.  Even though she talks to me about this all the time, she talked in detail about how unhappy she is with her marriage.  And how she would love to just get out of it.

 I feel awful for her.  She's trapped in a marriage that she can't get out of because she can't financially support herself.  Her husband is an ass.  And then there's the three kids, which is the only reason why she's staying.

   I wish there was some way I could help her out, but I know that there isn't.  What could I possibly do?

  She says she wants to be with a female, and I can't help but just feel so lucky that I realized my orientation before I got married.

 My lesbian manager was once married.  I'm so glad I never got to that point.

  The movie was gruesome.  I mean, more so than the first one.  It was pretty bad, we had to cover our eyes a lot of the time, and I usually never do that.

 So tonight...date with Sarah.  She's excited about it.  Really excited.  I am too <3

   eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

  So this past week I've been IMing with my friend Sarah a lot.  We went to high school together, and we've always talked.  But not a lot.

  Actually, she's still in high school...she's a senior...

...but we've talked about a lot this week on AIM.  And so we decided to have coffee and hang out.

 So last night we went to Starbucks.

 We ended up there for two hours drinking coffee and just talking.  It was really nice.  We talked about a lot of things.  We talked about how people in our lives responded to the news that we weren't heterosexual.  We talked about parents and friends and pressure.  We talked about middle school and high school.

  I talked to her about how I use to hate myself, and she talked to me about the same thing.  I even talked to her about the anorexia that use to run my life for so many years.  She listened well, and then opened up to me about other things too.

 We both went home and we talked on AIM.  She said that she had a really good time and that she usually doesn't open up to people like she did to me.  She said I was easy to talk to.

 And I found her easy to talk to as well.

 And then I did something that I don't usually do....I asked her out on  a date.

 Usually I play the whole "girl" role.  I wait to be asked out.  I'm usually the submissive one.

 But I'm older...and she's younger.  And I'm gay...and she's bi.

 {{Which is weird, I usually have this rule that I only date other lesbians}}

 And so I decided to like...take the reins and be the one to do the asking.

  But I'm excited about the date.  <3.

Season 3 of the L Word came out today!!!

And me,
Being the little obessed dyke that I am

Went to Best Buy RIGHT after classes to get it

I absolutely adore this show

It's done so much for me

It's so comforting to see that there are women out there who feel the same way I feel
And who go through the same things that I do

I have Seasons 1 and 2 of this show, and I constantly watch them
It seriously helps take away some of the lonliness that I feel from not personally having too many people from the GLBT community in my life

Don't get me wrong; my friends are great
They're wonderful, and I don't know what I'd do without them

But the fact of the matter is that there are very few people in my life that I'm close to that are like me

So The L Word helps out a lot

 It's a huge comfort

 Haha, okay, I'll now end my discussion on my love for this show.  I dunno why I'm still typing this, I'm going to go watch the first episode <3

So last night I was at work
And Crystal and I were text mesaging back and forth
And we were talking about girls

And dating

And then she asked me if I wanted to go on a date with her

...and I said yes.

Her and I agreed to be friends orignally
And I really like our friendship

But we have so much in common

And we like the same type of music
And we understand each other a lot

So I mean...why shouldn't I date her?


I asked her tonight if she liked me
And she said "yes"
I then asked her why she never told me

And she said she didn't want to make me uncomfortable since we had decided to just be friends

 Well, now I know
And we're going out Saturday night

I drove up to Frederick last night and spend the night at Shawn and Amanda's.  It was pretty crazy.  I had a great time.

 After the kids went to bed we did shot after shot.  I suddenly got hungry so Amanda {my sister in law} and I drove to Mcdonalds blasting Panic!At The Disco and singing at the top of our lungs.  She was drunk and wouldn't shutup about how much she loves me and how much I've grown lately and how she's so proud of me.  It was kind of ironic to hear her telling me all of that while I was driving pretty drunk.

 We played video games and laughed at the top of our lungs.  Amanda gave me a rainbow necklacec that she had her friend make for me.  It's really pretty.  I love it.

 A friend of a friend came over with some pot.

 I never thought that in a million years I would be smoking up with my brother and sister in law.


 

  I hate to think about how upset Mom would be if she knew all the things that go on when I go up there.

 My favorite niece:

And finally, I took a pic of my industrial piercing: 

 Ughhh.  I've got to work all weekend.

  Hung out with Gloria Lynn tonight.  She's the best friend I've got.  I've known this girl since I was six years old.  She's seen me through everything.  She's seen me at my worst.

  We played video games and laughed and giggled and pigged out on pizza.  Her Mom wants us to get an apartment together.  I think that'd be pretty cool.

 We ended up at Juan's house for the 3rd week in a row.  His house is like, the local hot spot now.


 I chatted with Liela for an hour tonight before I left.  She asked me to call her later, and so I did.

 Her voice is deep.  I think it's even deeper then mine.

 She says "We really do have to meet"

   Yes, I agree.

 I wanna make my notebook look somewhat like this: